iPhone Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (iOCD) Added to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders

By Apple’s favorite yardstick–media attention–the iPhone is probably already the most successful hand-held device ever introduced. The “JesusPhone” is still days from going on sale and the technology industry has already ceded rationality to iPhone monomania like Victorian-era women succumbing to “the vapors.”

Few, however, have fallen as hard as AT&T, which has been burying its retail staff in a torrent of memos prepping employees for “iDay”, as the company has taken to calling it. “We all have a huge stake in the success of iPhone,” the company explained in its latest memo entitled The Countdown Begins. “[We want] to make you a great ambassador for this game-changing product. As the exclusive service provider for iPhone, we’re iReady and very proud to play a key role in one of the most highly anticipated consumer product launches ever … and we hope you feel the same way.”

“iDay?” “We’re iReady?” I don’t know about you, but iFeel nauseous. And it’s only going to get worse as the week goes on. Although it’s hard to see how that’s possible given reports about the first shipments of Apple’s iPhone arriving in airports across the country yesterday:

Awaiting the freight at each location on Sunday were armored personnel, who were reportedly hired by Apple through its courier’s ground handling agent and then cleared by the Transportation Security Administration. Armed guards are extremely unusual for freight coming out of the Asian sector, those familiar with the matter explained, and are typically reserved for shipments containing riches such as gold and diamonds.”
—Kasper Jade, AppleInsider