Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Monday Morning Quarterback: The BoomTown Navel-Gazing Edition

We had much news we broke here on this blog last week (and much more to come, folks, so tune in early and often).

moneybag

That included our exclusive report that Facebook was raising a massive round of funding at an even more massive valuation.

The news, which comes as no surprise (make hay while the sun shines is my motto, too!), apparently brought a boatload of all new offers to the company execs at the hot social-networking site.

So much so that CFO Gideon Yu–whom I have nicknamed “Death Cat” for his uncanny ability to land a big job at the hottest company of the moment, much as that nursing-home feline can sense death–has been fielding requests to shower founder Mark Zuckerberg with cash from everyone and his uncle and from across the globe.

I got a lot of them, too, that I did not pass on, but sorry, DC!

techmeme

Also very amusing was the comment by Gabe Rivera of Techmeme about the Yahoo acquisition of BuzzTracker, which I also broke last week, on a posting by HipMojo’s Ashkan Karbasfrooshan on the deal. Techmeme was one of the rumored sites Yahoo considered, some speculated (not me!), before Yahoo decided they had too-pricey valuations.

I repeat Rivera’s comment in its entirety below, as it is very funny:

Ash, please, enough speculation! I suppose at this point I can share some of the details.

“I didn’t ask for ‘too lofty a valuation.’ I informed Yahoo that I would agree to sell given (1) $4 million up front (2) $2 million earn-out over no more than two years (3) a lifetime supply of the delicious Y! peanut butter Brad G. wrote about and (4) a purple and yellow unicorn.

“Tom Cruise, Yahoo’s lead in the negotiations, made it clear some of my requirements were not acceptable. Discussions ended amicably.

“Warmest congratulations to both BuzzTracker and Yahoo, of course!”

Also, we liked that the very excellent David Shabelman of the Deal blamed the whole anticipation at what would happen at Yahoo on BoomTown, because we have initiated our 100-day countdown, based on CEO Jerry Yang’s comments to investors this summer.

Wrote Shabelman:

Yes, Yang is responsible for getting hopes up for some kind of substantial announcement, when he said in July he would spend the next 100 days coming up with a fresh strategic plan for the company. But what he probably wasn’t counting on was Kara Swisher writing about what she thought Yahoo should do ad nauseam in her BoomTown blog, creating outsized expectations.”

Ad nauseam!? David, as you must know, nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapons are fear! And surprise! And ruthless efficiency! But no red uniform. (See below.)

But wait until you see what we have on tap for Day 75! And, we already have called in Hollywood stylists for Day 99.

Now, Yahoo, how do you plead?

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First the NSA came for, well, jeez pretty much everybody’s data at this point, and I said nothing because wait how does this joke work

— Parker Higgins via Twitter