Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

The Kitchen Sink: Yahoo Earnings at 2 p.m. PT/5 p.m. ET

Barring wireless complications at Little League practice–oh, yes, it is glamorous times 24/7 here at BoomTown HQ–I will post as soon as I can with reaction to the Yahoo (YHOO) numbers.

But, as I wrote yesterday in this post, expect first-quarter results to be strong, as there is no way the under-siege Internet company can allow weak results with Microsoft (MSFT) at the gates.


I can also predict that Microsoft will pooh-pooh Yahoo’s performance almost immediately (Francis, call me at the usual number at 2:01 p.m. PT!), claiming that Yahoo threw everything into the the kitchen sink to make the first-quarter earnings look as sparkling clean as possible.

Why? Part of Yahoo’s never-ending quest to make itself look more valuable, in an effort to suck more dollars out of the bulging wallet of the software giant.

What? Preening and posturing in the midst of a takeover battle between Yahoo and Microsoft? Meaningless deal-making? Faux-angry letters back and forth? Google-baiting? Financial saber-rattling?

In the immortal words of Captain Renault in “Casablanca”: “I’m shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on in here!”

Whatever happens, maybe it can have a “beautiful friendship” Hollywood ending, like this classic. It could happen!:

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Nobody was excited about paying top dollar for a movie about WikiLeaks. A film about the origins of Pets.com would have done better.

— Gitesh Pandya of BoxOfficeGuru.com comments on the dreadful opening weekend box office numbers for “The Fifth Estate.”