Coming Soon From Motorola: STNKR, CLNKR and FUBAR

Motorola added another dancer to its conga line of disappointing quarters today, posting an ugly first-quarter loss. The ongoing collapse of its post-Razr phone business continued to weigh heavily on the company, which lost $194 million in the quarter ended March 31. That’s significantly worse than its year-ago loss of $181 million. Sales fell about 21% to $7.45 billion, from $9.43 billion a year ago. Mobile-devices losses were $418 million on sales of $3.3 billion, down 39% from the year-earlier quarter.

Suffice to say, the gruesome performance fell short of Wall Street expectations. Motorola (MOT) shares slipped into the mud following the news. They’re trading around $9 right now, down some 4%.

Not to worry, though, says CEO Greg Brown. Motorola, which plans to shed its money-losing handset division in 2009, is well positioned for recovery. “Motorola is still a huge business and an iconic company,” he told USA Today. “I see a vibrant, very successful mobile-device business with a fresh portfolio that is aggressive and competing effectively [in the global market]. These elements, I think, will allow it to compete ferociously in the future.”