We Used an AirPort Extreme to Extend Steve's "Reality Distortion Field" to DOJ Headquarters

Looks like Steve Jobs’s notorious “Reality Distortion Field” also doubles as a Federation Starfleet-style force field in a pinch. The U.S. Justice Department has ended its investigation into backdated options at Apple (AAPL) and chosen not to bring criminal charges against the company or any of the executives it’s been investigating.

Happy news for Apple, CEO Steve Jobs (shown above in mid-victory dance) and former Apple CFO Fred “It was you, Fredo” Anderson and former general counsel Nancy Heinen, who’ve all managed to dodge quite a legal bullet. Presumably it will be quite a bit more difficult for the civil suits filed against them to succeed with no criminal charges being filed.