Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

BoomTown's 2009 Predictions: We Don't Know Jack (Except for AppleAppleAppleApple)

Oh, I’m sorry, is this the part where BoomTown is supposed to make a list of some sort of what I like and don’t like, what’s hot and what’s not, what’s going to happen and such to all the various players in the digital space?

I don’t think so.

Why? Well, when I have in the past or have read them from others, it’s a lot like Nostradamus. You can read into it anything you want.

For instance: Apple (AAPL) CEO Steve Jobs wrote a public letter today that essentially says he is not dying, as many speculated he was last week–without a trace of proof.

And, presto-chango, the thickest in the blogosphere then does another twisteroo and uses it as confirmation that he is in indeed sick and it was the true reason for his Macworld keynote pullout, even though Jobs says no such thing in the letter.

Or, more mundanely, I write: “Mobile will be bigger than ever.”

Well, to start, it is a kind of duh-prognostication. Plus it is essentially meaningless, since obviously more folks on the planet means more cellphones.

Or, what about: “Twitter/Facebook/Digg/Fill-In-The-Overhyped-Start-Up will sell to a major media giant.”

Okay, maybe, if any of those major media stocks were not in the toilet and their execs decided to do another Bebo/CNET/Fill-In-The-Overhyped-Start-Up cash belly flop like last year.

You get the idea.

But the real reason I am not inclined to go all Miss Cleo is simple: I have no idea what is going to happen and neither does anyone, even in their heedless guessing.

Did we imagine Microsoft (MSFT) would launch a hostile attack on Yahoo (YHOO)? No, we did not.

Did we guess that Google (GOOG) stock would tank to half its value in a massive U.S. economic collapse? Nope, sister.

Did we know that Apple apps would take off like gangbusters, even as rumors of Jobs’s imminent demise would too? Sorry, but we didn’t, including you in the back there insisting you did.

Did we foresee that the insane valuations for Web 2.0 companies like Facebook and others would drop like the ball in Times Square on New Year’s?

Wait, we got that one right.

Here are the only predictions I can make, which is that these will be the topics that everyone will be chattering about in tech in 2009:

AppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleApple
AppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleApple
AppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleApple
AppleSteveIsSickAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleApple
AppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleAppleApple

Also:

TwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitter
TwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitter
TwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitter
TwitterTwitterTwitterDidYouKnowSteveIsSick?TwitterTwitterTwitter
TwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitterTwitter

And:

Yahoo!

Wait, that’s just me.


Latest Video

View all videos »

Search »

Nobody was excited about paying top dollar for a movie about WikiLeaks. A film about the origins of Pets.com would have done better.

— Gitesh Pandya of BoxOfficeGuru.com comments on the dreadful opening weekend box office numbers for “The Fifth Estate.”