Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Woz Lives to Stumble Around, Oops, Tango, Another Day!


Getting a foot fracture, pulling a hamstring, claiming there was a voting conspiracy, getting an abysmal score of 10 out of 30 from the judges (the lowest score ever) and, of course, dancing with as much grace as a block of cement were not enough to sink the Good Ship Wozniak last night on “Dancing With the Stars.”

Instead, the people spoke loud and proud for continued goofiness by voting for the clod-hopping Apple (AAPL) co-founder in droves and tossing off actress and Charlie Sheen nemesis, Denise Richards.

“I was more shocked than any time in my life,” said Woz. “Maybe except when I got served with divorce papers.”

It helped his cause, I think, that the judges tried to hand him walking papers on Monday, with one calling his dance “the worst samba I’ve ever seen.”

Well, that was technically true. But the people have chosen to ignore that little detail and are focusing instead on the sheer entertainment value of Woz.

Next up: Tango Argentina!

Or, most likely in Woz’s version: Mangled Argentina.

Here’s the video from the ABC show of the announcement last night, when the shocked Woz and his partner, Karina Smirnoff, found out they were were safe, including a very cute Pillsbury Doughboy moment right after.

That the rotund Woz allowed a Pillsbury Doughboy moment on national television tells you all you need to know about why he is still in the competition:

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Just as the atom bomb was the weapon that was supposed to render war obsolete, the Internet seems like capitalism’s ultimate feat of self-destructive genius, an economic doomsday device rendering it impossible for anyone to ever make a profit off anything again. It’s especially hopeless for those whose work is easily digitized and accessed free of charge.

— Author Tim Kreider on not getting paid for one’s work