Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Here Comes the Summer Movie Geektravaganza: Trek to Demons to Bots to Cyborgs to Potter!


With bootleg copies ripped on the Internet or not and with an $87 million opening weekend for “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” it looks like the nerdiest summer movie season ever is off the races.

Hollywood, caught in the digital maelstrom, certainly is fine and dandy making bank by co-opting all the techie themes, gadgets and special effects, with a slate of movies over the next months that are like catnip to geeks of all kinds.

Including BoomTown, for example, which plans to fork over a lot of dough to pay for all the techtastic entertainment that those old media moguls can dish out before they collapse.

Here’s the roster and video trailers of key movies this summer:

Star Trek, May 8

It looks sassy enough with a hot, young cast in what is, like “Wolverine,” a prequel from when the crew of the Starship Enterprise were mere pups.

But one funny quibble comes from a post on the Mania.com blog called “10 Reasons to be Worried About ‘Star Trek'”:

“The New Bridge Looks Like an Apple Store: I love my iPod, but all the Apple Stores I’ve visited are located in the 21st century, not the 23rd. Made of frosted plastic shades and lawn furniture borrowed from the local Pinkberry, the bridge looks built to handle scenes of Kirk negotiating a kegger with the Vulcans more than the sparking explosions and flying bodies of the original.

One can imagine Kirk, trying to sweet-talk his latest alien conquest, and the bridge’s iTunes shuffle mode kicks in.”

Angels & Demons, May 15

Mathematical formulas, hidden puzzles to figure out the path of light through Rome, antimatter, Galileo?

Oh, I am there, except for Tom Hanks’s (playing Robert Langdon) shorter but nonetheless unfortunate haircut from “The Da Vinci Code.”

That and all the glaring but entertaining inaccuracies about science, religion and art from author Dan Brown. As if, I care.

Terminator Salvation, May 21

I am still in mourning over life without Summer Glau, given that the television show, “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles,” might be canceled after lackluster ratings in its second season.

I will have to trade that superb show for the grumpy grumbles of Christan Bale as John Connor in this fourth outing of the killer-cyborgs-from-the-future series of movies.

This one is set in the post-Judgment Day time, so it will have a lot of dusty, oily fighting with machines and grim grimaces about the dire situation (which, to be fair, bites).

Still, as always with my beloved “Terminator” movies, I’ll be baaaaaack.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, June 24

More machines noisily battling it out while humans get stomped. Sometimes, I think these movies have been thought up by people who hate their cellphones.

Still, the first “Transformers” was funny about all the tech, and this one looks like it could be amusing too.

Also, given that I have two young boys, I have played with a lot of Transformer toys since the last movie came out and they really are cool.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, July 15

I. Love. Harry. Potter.

I cannot control this fact and I am a wee bit perturbed by it.

But it is so, especially with all the creepy special effects that seem to get super-creepy in this sixth outing.

These movies just have gotten better and better, as have the young actors who play the main parts, so it’s hard to imagine it not being completely excellent.

Also, the whole pensieve thing rocks. The whole Dumbledore thing, not so much.

[PhotoShopped “Star Trek” publicity still courtesy of Mania.com]

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There was a worry before I started this that I was going to burn every bridge I had. But I realize now that there are some bridges that are worth burning.

— Valleywag editor Sam Biddle