Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

The Microsoft Cougar Memo: It's Grrrrrrrrreat!


Last week, a cougar was reported to be roaming on the Redmond, Wash., campus of Microsoft, which led to all kinds of cutesy jokes about the new Snow Leopard operating system from Apple (AAPL).

No, BoomTown cannot make this stuff up!

Nor did I make up this original and very fine global alert that Microsoft Global Security sent last week, which assured employees of the software giant that “Microsoft Security will conduct frequent patrols of all wooded areas of the campus.”

That’s more than you can say about how the software giant handles hackers!

Here’s an image of the memo (click on it to see a large version):


Previously, TechFlash had the text of the second warning, which gives cougar-fighting tips.

They included:

“Stay calm. Talk to the cougar in a confident voice.”

“Do not run. Try to back away from the cougar slowly. Sudden movement or flight may trigger an instinctive attack. Do not turn your back on the cougar. Face the cougar and remain upright.”

And, most important of all: “Do all you can to enlarge your image. Don’t crouch down or try to hide. Pick up sticks or branches and wave them about.”

Which, if you think about it, is even better advice for Microsoft (MSFT) Bing execs–this means you, Yusuf!–in tangling with search archrival Google (GOOG).

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I think the NSA has a job to do and we need the NSA. But as (physicist) Robert Oppenheimer said, “When you see something that is technically sweet, you go ahead and do it and argue about what to do about it only after you’ve had your technical success. That is the way it was with the atomic bomb.”

— Phil Zimmerman, PGP inventor and Silent Circle co-founder, in an interview with Om Malik