John Paczkowski

Recent Posts by John Paczkowski

Verizon Droid: Don’t Be a Sissy

vzThe male ego is a fragile thing. The last thing you want is a phone that challenges it with an effeminate form factor and pantywaist performance specs. As a guy, you want a phone that doesn’t emasculate you every time you whip it out. Otherwise, you might become insecure and resentful.

Evidently, that’s the conceit of Verizon’s (VZ) latest ad for the Motorola (MOT) Droid, which touts it as a HE-MAN super-smartphone over Apple’s (AAPL) prissy iPhone.

“Should a phone be pretty,” Verizon’s ad asks. “Should it be a tiara-wearing digitally-clueless beauty pageant queen? Or should it be fast? Racehorse-duct-taped-to-a-Scud-missile fast? We say the latter. So we built the phone that does. Does rip through the Web like a circular saw through a ripe banana. Is it a precious porcelain figurine of a phone? No. It’s not a princess. It’s a robot. A phone that trades hair-do for can-do.”

Droid. It’s a phone, an Internet device and a male-enhancement solution in one. Congratulations, Verizon; this ad is going to kill with the “men 18 and older” demographic.


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Nobody was excited about paying top dollar for a movie about WikiLeaks. A film about the origins of Pets.com would have done better.

— Gitesh Pandya of BoxOfficeGuru.com comments on the dreadful opening weekend box office numbers for “The Fifth Estate.”