Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Invasion of the iPad Snatchers: My First Jobs Keynote Ever

After all these years of covering tech, after too many words on Apple and its CEO Steve Jobs, after even interviewing the tech icon several times onstage at various D: All Things Digital conferences over the years, BoomTown is a little embarrassed to admit that I have never attended in person one of the legendary keynote speeches delivered by him.

What ho? Never seen the man–who is known for blowing the doors off any room he headlines–work his apparent magic on the enthralled crowd? Never seen him handle that presentation clicker like Mozart conducting one his operas? Never heard him utter the immortal phrase, “one more thing,” to be immediately followed by much audience oohing and ahhing?

No. I have not. And, as much as I like to ooh and ahh, nope!

We always send a crack team from All Things Digital to these various Apple (AAPL) events, but I have not been part of that thus far, opting to watch the proceedings online at ATD HQ.

But this year I finally said yes to an invite and will apparently get to see Jobs unveil one of the more anticipated and potentially innovative new devices from the Silicon Valley computer icon. It will most certainly be the long-expected tablet that I predicted will be called the iPad.

“You are going to love it and want to come to all our events,” wrote one Apple exec to me about the Wednesday gathering in San Francisco, which immediately made me think of the iPods, oops, pods, in the sci-fi movie classic, “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.”

Note to self: Do not fall asleep.

All joking aside, I will be curious to be at this event, since the level of media hype–which is typical–seems to have reached even higher than I ever thought possible, including one report today about how people have “overheard” Jobs saying that the tablet is the most important thing he has ever done.

Ooh. Ahh. How about we all wait and see first?

Until then, send your advice as to the do’s and don’ts of attending the Jobs revival meeting, especially tips on whether I need to set my phaser on “stun” for disabling fervent Apple fanboys if they get too excited.

Also, what should I wear? A black mock turtleneck, jeans and sneakers too much?

Video to come, as usual, along with all of our terrific coverage from ATD.

And, finally, I really hope it is not as cheesy as this bizarre video about how to present like Steve Jobs. My two cents as an expert-to-be on how to do that: Be Steve Jobs.

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Another gadget you don’t really need. Will not work once you get it home. New model out in 4 weeks. Battery life is too short to be of any use.

— From the fact sheet for a fake product entitled Useless Plasticbox 1.2 (an actual empty plastic box) placed in L.A.-area Best Buy stores by an artist called Plastic Jesus