John Paczkowski

Recent Posts by John Paczkowski

The Complete Works of Bing Gordon: Odes to the iPhone and iPad

At a Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers event this morning to announce the doubling of its $100 million iFund, KPCB team member Bing Gordon read two poems–the first, a 2008 paean to Apple’s (AAPL) iPhone, the second an ode to its forthcoming iPad. Below is the full text of both: “Welcome to the World, iPhone” and “Welcome to the World, iPad.”

Welcome to the World, iPhone
(Summer 2008)

Welcome to the world, my new friend and pocket master.
Your 3-G-ness makes my world so much better and lots faster.
Your App Store is the killer app of mobile D-to-C,
Although you are surprised that 90 percent of apps are Free.

100 Million is a frighteningly awesome number,
And threatens to eclipse Nintendo, put PSP in your penumbra.
Who’d have expected games like Rolando would have put you on the map,
Or that a virtual beer mug would become a killer app.

Your baby brother iPod Touch is rustling, restless in the wings,
With tens of millions multi-touchers browsing iTunes for new things.
With so much excitement already, your future’s hardly hazy;
Christmas Season in the Apple Stores this year will be, like, crazy.

Thanks, iPhone, for giving us a White to go with Black.
Thanks, iPhone, for making Leopard mobile, and connecting to my Mac.
iPhone, you’ve launched into the world, like a Cupertino rocket!
Steve envisioned computers on each desk; now it’s iPhone in every pocket!

Welcome to the World, iPad
(April 2010)

Welcome to the world, iPad, we’ve been awaiting you for months.
You give my hands an article of lust they both can touch at once.
3 Billion downloads in two years from 150,000 titles in App Store,
We’ve seen previews under NDA that will drive many billions more.

You’ve inspired new computer scientists on every college campus,
Who invented killer apps for toddlers, texting teens and check-in grampas.
Entrepreneurs without previous experience are creating jobs and wealth,
If they skip class to finish their new app, do they have to keep in stealth?

Thanks, iPad, for giving us a Cinerama screen.
Thanks, iPad, putting soul into your new machine.
iPad, you are the next chapter in the Apple Computer lore,
But we have to take our tent and leave now, the line is forming at the store.

Headed straight for The Norton Anthology Of Poetry, I imagine …


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Just as the atom bomb was the weapon that was supposed to render war obsolete, the Internet seems like capitalism’s ultimate feat of self-destructive genius, an economic doomsday device rendering it impossible for anyone to ever make a profit off anything again. It’s especially hopeless for those whose work is easily digitized and accessed free of charge.

— Author Tim Kreider on not getting paid for one’s work