John Paczkowski

Recent Posts by John Paczkowski

Oracle Enlists Process Servers, Not PIs, to Find HP CEO

Oracle is still on the hunt for former SAP chief and current HP CEO Léo Apotheker, but it hasn’t enlisted private investigators to track him down.

Sources in a position to know tell me that the PIs rumored to be searching for Apotheker are actually PSs–process servers, agents charged with delivering subpoenas to their intended recipient. And, as federal law dictates, their search extends no farther than 100 miles from the location of the trial, because if Apotheker is outside that 100-mile radius, they can’t serve him. And Oracle can’t compel him to testify. Which means it’s not really worth the company’s time or effort to hire Dog the Bounty Hunter to track him down in some Schwarzwald hideout.

As Oracle attorney David Boies said during a press conference after Monday’s proceedings, “Because of his role, we think it’s important for the jury to be able to see him live. But evidently, the embarrassment of avoiding trial is less than the embarrassment of testifying. We are trying to serve him. Still.”

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December 30, 2013 at 6:49 am PT

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December 28, 2013 at 12:05 pm PT

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Another gadget you don’t really need. Will not work once you get it home. New model out in 4 weeks. Battery life is too short to be of any use.

— From the fact sheet for a fake product entitled Useless Plasticbox 1.2 (an actual empty plastic box) placed in L.A.-area Best Buy stores by an artist called Plastic Jesus