John Paczkowski

Recent Posts by John Paczkowski

Oracle Enlists Process Servers, Not PIs, to Find HP CEO

Oracle is still on the hunt for former SAP chief and current HP CEO Léo Apotheker, but it hasn’t enlisted private investigators to track him down.

Sources in a position to know tell me that the PIs rumored to be searching for Apotheker are actually PSs–process servers, agents charged with delivering subpoenas to their intended recipient. And, as federal law dictates, their search extends no farther than 100 miles from the location of the trial, because if Apotheker is outside that 100-mile radius, they can’t serve him. And Oracle can’t compel him to testify. Which means it’s not really worth the company’s time or effort to hire Dog the Bounty Hunter to track him down in some Schwarzwald hideout.

As Oracle attorney David Boies said during a press conference after Monday’s proceedings, “Because of his role, we think it’s important for the jury to be able to see him live. But evidently, the embarrassment of avoiding trial is less than the embarrassment of testifying. We are trying to serve him. Still.”

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Just as the atom bomb was the weapon that was supposed to render war obsolete, the Internet seems like capitalism’s ultimate feat of self-destructive genius, an economic doomsday device rendering it impossible for anyone to ever make a profit off anything again. It’s especially hopeless for those whose work is easily digitized and accessed free of charge.

— Author Tim Kreider on not getting paid for one’s work