Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

It’s No “Game of Thrones” Finale, but Yahoo Logo-Palooza Ends Tonight

Yahoo-Logo-feature

Here are a few choice things I wait for in rapt anticipation:

While “Game of Thrones” is on hiatus after its sensational “Red Wedding” finale, the next episode of “Orange Is the New Black” — which spouse and I are watching two at a time nightly, although I am considering sneaking by day to find out what Pornstache will do to Red.

The new iPhone, which will be unveiled next Tuesday at Apple’s Cupertino, Calif. HQ — because I will upgrade to it, my older son will get my old one and my younger son will get his brother’s old one as his first phone ever (it’s a family of impatience over here).

Whenever anyone says they are “gladiators in suits” on “Scandal” or whenever its star, Kerry Washington as Washington fixer Olivia Pope, gives that long, sad gaze that comes from loving the wrong man who also happens to be President of the United States.

The Oreo version of Google Android — because I like Oreos. A lot more than KitKats.

And even — and I am ashamed to admit this — whatever the next cup-full-of-crazy thing Miley Cyrus gets into.

But, I’ll be honest — except for the fact that I have to cover it at the time I would have been watching my daily dose of “OITNB” tonight — I will have to drastically gin up my excitement level over the new Yahoo logo that is set to be unveiled at 9 pm PT.

Doubtless, others have been pre-briefed on this new look, which was last changed a few years ago. But, for the rest of us, over the last month Yahoo has been showing 29 other logos it will not be using to get us all atwitter with expectation.

While I still don’t quite get this move from a marketing perspective — it’s like having a parade of all the people you decided not to marry before your wedding — there have been some design doozies in the bunch. That might have been the point: Show off all the bad so we will love, love, love the new one.

On that score, mission accomplished!

Such as this one from Day 2 that looks like an air freshener I declined to purchase last week at Safeway:

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Or this one from Day 11, which looks like my grandmother, who had excellent cursive penmanship, wrote it (nothing says the future like a handwritten logo from the last century!):

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Or Day 20, which resembles what happens when I let those kids of mine play on my computer and they screw up the fonts:

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Or Day 28, which is pretty much a flat-out lift of the Yoo-hoo logo, a high-fructose corn syrup beverage I enjoy imbibing from time to time:

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Finally, I really don’t have one single clue about what’s going on with Day 29:

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Which, I think, is the goal of the marketers of Yahoo — after this parade of losers, we shall now get to gaze upon the gleaming new spouse that the Silicon Valley Internet giant will be wedded to for years to come. This jazz-hands rollout is very much in keeping with the tenure of new CEO Marissa Mayer, who is trying to generate as much excitement around Yahoo as possible as part of her turnaround efforts.

Presumably, this logo for the new Yahoo will be just the ticket! We’ll see — but, until then, I am going to go and see what Crazy Eyes is up to, which is one sure thing to be interesting.


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First the NSA came for, well, jeez pretty much everybody’s data at this point, and I said nothing because wait how does this joke work

— Parker Higgins via Twitter