Yahoo Says Mail Functionality Is Returning, but Some Users Might Be Missing Up to Two Weeks of Email

Return to sender, address unknown. No such number, no such zone.
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Clinging to Outlook, Only 25 Percent of Yahoo Employees Willing to Eat Mail “Dogfood” (Best Memo Ever!)

According to Yahoo Comms head, for those circling the hippocampian wagons of amygdalian resistance: Hold on a sec, pilgrim. No, really.
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After Months of Hacks, Twitter Launches Heightened Security Features

A new form of identity verification could help deter account hackers.
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LivingSocial Hack Update: Investigation Ongoing, While Emails Out to 50 Million Users

On the bright side … actually, there is no bright side.
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Former Yahoo Exec Blake Irving Named CEO of Domain Giant Go Daddy

Another new leader for the Web registration giant.
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Exclusive: Synacor to Offer TV Everywhere Authentication Via Social IDs

Debugging a “TV Everywhere” hassle.
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After #Eastwooding Exits, Dems Take Their Seat at the Social Table

The empty chair gets an occupant this week.
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Exclusive: Google Commerce Exec Tilenius Departs for Kleiner

The Google Wallet exec checks out of the search giant.
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Mission Impossibly Funny: Siri Will Self-Destruct in Five Seconds (Video)

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to laugh.
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Most Top Banks Have an App for That