“Let’s go. Yes, let’s go.” [They do not move.]

– Samuel Beckett, “Waiting for Godot”

In Internet terms, the removal of Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz happened a dog’s age ago.

In fact, it was September 6.

Since then, it has felt like a slow slog, especially contrasting the situation with that of another troubled Silicon Valley giant, Hewlett-Packard, which fired its CEO Léo Apotheker and appointed a new one, Meg Whitman on September 22.

Since then, in comparison, the former eBay CEO has been like the Energizer Bunny, making a series of major and often difficult decisions, including: Holding onto its PC unit; reaffirming its controversial deal to buy Autonomy; promising a decision on the fate of its webOS unit within the next two weeks; appointing new execs; and even buying a company.

To be fair, Yahoo did acquire advertising start-up Interclick.

Otherwise, still no sale or investment deal. No new CEO. No Asia resolution. And, perhaps most importantly, no clearly articulated strategy going forward.

It’s not that Yahoo’s leadership isn’t working at it.

Some fervently insist to me that there is a “plan,” as if there is some clever game of Internet Stratego going on that I cannot possibly grok.

Mebbe — but of this I have no doubt: The Yahoo board has indeed been huffing and puffing away, weighing and measuring, considering and debating.

A lot.

Maybe I’m just too impatient. I am (ask my kids).

Or maybe Yahoo’s beleaguered employees are, one of whom just wrote me plaintively, “unreal how they can drag this out,” in what has become a common refrain up and down the ranks.

Or maybe it’s the Asian partners, Alibaba Group and SoftBank, who are antsy and have considered a variety of nuclear options in order to get back stakes Yahoo holds in them. Said one: “The strategy seems to be to frustrate and exhaust us into submission.”

Or, finally, maybe it’s the newly frustrated recent bidders for a partial stake in Yahoo, Silver Lake and TPG Capital. Declared one to me after I warned that Yahoo might, in fact, drag the proceedings out longer than you might expect: “I thought you were kidding.”

Nope, welcome to the Yahoo waiting game, PE guys!

So, to help us all get through it, here’s a quick update primer on what’s what on the various fronts:

Who’s in Charge Here?

Technically, it is the Yahoo board, which is aided by interim CEO Tim Morse.

First, a word about Morse: By all accounts, he is doing a very good job as temporary head honcho — calming the troubled company, making swift decisions about daily operating issues and being a generally nice dude to deal with.

“He’s Yahoo’s no-drama Obama, in comparison to what was happening before,” said one exec, in reference to the more volatile regime under Bartz.

Still, despite his very pleasant all-hands meetings, such as one earlier this week, Morse had previously been Yahoo’s CFO and not an Internet-savvy visionary to give the company inspiration. No insult intended, but he’s the accountant guy.

To be fair, he is not meant to be the visionary, but many at the company are yearning for exactly that.

A role that is now being taken up again by co-founder, former CEO and director Jerry Yang, who dozens of employees tell me is unusually involved in operational details these days for a board member.

I get reports of sightings of him all the livelong day: Jerry in demand-side advertising confab! Jerry chitchatting with entrepreneurs from a possible start-up acquisition! Jerry weighing in on a variety of products. Look, over in the cubicle, it’s Jerry!

This is seen by Yahoo employees as a good thing and also a bad thing, since it’s hard to be running your little divisional show at Yahoo with the dude who invented it all looking over your shoulder, even if he means well. People naturally defer to Yang, the 800-pound Web icon in the room.

But, given the overwhelming state of stasis at Yahoo now — “No one can do anything until we find out how the story ends,” said one staffer — and employees eying the exits, no power at Yahoo really matters but the board.

You know, the board that has gotten the company to this moment of crisis and profound ennui, which is its own particularly ironic irony.

To better understand the power dynamics on the board, above is a little chart for you to peruse to give you an idea of which independent board member is running what key committee.

The only truly important one is the Transactions and Strategic Planning committee, which is headed by Intuit President and CEO Brad Smith and includes former Akamai President (and former Yahoo CEO candidate) David Kenny, top HP exec Vyomesh Joshi and other guy Gary Wilson.

And, in completely visible shadow form, Yang. Multiple sources close to the situation said he has been a key force in the strategery around a possible sale or investment.

This has caused not more than a little tension among board members, but everyone seems to like the much described nicest-man-in-the-room, Smith, and hopes his cool head will prevail.

Another important part of the board is the Nominating and Corporate Governance committee run by Patti Hart, who is energetically and simultaneously — if pointlessly — in search of a capable new Yahoo CEO.

Or, as I like to call this mythical person: The Unicorn.

The Deal

As I and many others have previously reported, there are bids on the table for partial investments in Yahoo by two very powerful private equity firms, Silver Lake and TPG Capital.

It’s a PE rumble, with a side of Microsoft financial backing! (I think Silver Lake’s Egon Durban makes a very nice Riff, while Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer is the perfect Officer Krupke.)

My fervent wishes for some figurative and dance-accompanied knife-play aside, the bids are essentially the same in general and different in particular. Silver Lake is offering about $16.50 a share, while TPG is dangling a tiny bit more. Silver Lake has power entrepreneur and VC Marc Andreessen on its side, while TPG is trying to get Silicon Valley fave investor and start-up whisperer Reid Hoffman of Greylock Partners and LinkedIn on its team. Both have ideas on CEOs, strategy and what to do about the Asian assets.

This type of deal could happen suddenly and you’ll hear about it quick, since the losing side will immediately trash it to the media.

As you might expect, each director has their favorite PE firm, with some not liking Andreessen, some thinking the TPG bid is a little light, some for a whole-company deal and some wanting Yahoo to hire its own CEO and run the place itself.

Of course, the last one shows a disturbing level of denial and should be a nonstarter, given the board’s abysmal record on CEO choice and its riding of Yahoo to this sad point in its storied history.

Here’s what to expect on the PE front: A lot of wrangling behind the scenes with frequent leaks to the media about what each side wants and will not yield on.

CEO choice or no CEO choice, that is the question!

Also a big factor are Yahoo’s major shareholders, few of whom like the partial investment deal, which is known as a PIPE (Private Investment in Public Equity), because of the insiderness of it all and because they prefer a whole-company sale at a higher price.

There is also pressure from activist shareholders like Daniel Loeb of Third Point, who has attacked Yang and others on the board and is ready to pounce with a proxy fight if Yahoo tries to override shareholders too egregiously. And, of course, the inevitable lawsuits over any arrangement that seems to block a whole-company bid.

That said, such a mega-deal seems unlikely, since it is too pricey and despite a lot of noise that Yahoo’s Asian partners were ready to strike with a takeover in order to get back Yahoo’s big stakes in their companies.

That’s kind of like buying a store to get back the cool pair of shoes you sold, but bankers love to scheme up this stuff. While it certainly could happen, it would be a bear of a deal.

Perhaps more like Yogi Bear, hopelessly angling for a tasty pic-a-nik basket — but grrrr anyway.

But perhaps the biggest factor in all of this mishegas is time. There is none on a lot of levels, most especially the increasing level of brain drain and drift at Yahoo. After the New Year dawns, this is going to spin right out of control and amount to the biggest internal challenge Yahoo faces.

An Asian Solution

As I and others have reported, Yahoo is entertaining yet another proposal to sell all or part of its Asian assets back to the companies, which make up a bulk of its market valuation.

The relationship between Yahoo and its Asian partners has long been fraught, and today the difficulty of reaching an agreement remains a vexing issue. That’s because it is hard and complex and because no one wants to do what the other side wants.

I am no tax attorney, but it seems as if Yahoo will ultimately come to some deal with China’s Alibaba and Japan’s SoftBank, which could include big investors like Russia’s DST Global.

And, as I reported last week, the Asian partners want to strike a deal with the current board rather than lose leverage with a much cannier new owner.

It’s a tough decision in all aspects to strike, but would remove the focus on the fact that Yahoo’s most valuable asset is something it is not running and simply holds due to a good stock trade in years past.

Years past should be the operative thought here, since the Asian assets have nothing to do with what Yahoo needs to do with its core U.S. and global brand.

You know, the thing that allowed them to buy those lucrative Asian assets in the first place?

Strategery

And that’s the crux of all this, isn’t it? Yahoo needs a new strategy and fast.

Or it needs to clarify and hone its current strategies around advertising and media and define itself once and for all. While it often touts itself as a premier digital media company, it’s still not clear exactly what Yahoo is saying by that.

In fact, incredibly, sources told me that the board was still wrangling over the tired issue of what Yahoo is at its most recent meeting — essentially, is it a products company or a media company?

If I had to listen to that who-am-I-anyway debate again, I think I would scream, given how many important Web trends that Yahoo has whiffed in recent years, many of which were right in its own wheelhouse.

How much damage this has caused to Yahoo’s core business is a critical one to determine, with many feeling the situation is too far gone to revive it and others confident that this is simply an issue of poor execution.

I am in the middle on this one, but all the indicators of Yahoo’s business have long been heading in the wrong direction, and results in the next quarter are expected to underline this even more.

Thus, the board’s navel-gazing at this point is untoward, considering that it is presiding over the possibility of a sale that should not have had to happen in the first place. While it is not quite a fire sale, it’s no cause for celebration at all the attention, either.

In fact, it’s also pointless, since — if this all resolves as it should — the current Yahoo board will not be the one determining the company’s future any longer. Remember that: This group should and will be gone for the most part.

Yahoo shareholders and employees can hope, at least.

Then, it will be up to the next group of leaders to make the very hard choices — including what are likely to be massive layoffs and radical surgery on its offerings — for what’s to come next.

In the end, that is all that will matter. Until then, as usual, you’ll have to sit tight.

Evolta-kun’s epic journey on the Tokaido, one of Japan’s ancient thoroughfares, is part of a marketing campaign by Panasonic Corp. to promote its Evolta rechargeable batteries. At each of the route’s 53 stages where a weary traveler would once stop for food and lodging, Evolta-kun recharges its batteries (literally).

Even the robot mascot has his own crew of costume-wearing female models (the Evolta Sisters), an exclusive theme song (We, Challengers) and, of course, a daily comic strip. The robot travels with an entourage of five staff. One ‘Evolta Sister’ pushes a cart that emits an infra-red signal to control the robot’s direction; two members are in charge of checking for safety and two cameramen chronicle every robotic step of his journey.

There are rules: Evolta-kun stops at red lights. It doesn’t walk at night or in the rain. The robot can’t climb stairs. (With regards to stairs, a staff member will carry it by hand,” according to the rules.)

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How much does BoomTown love the Friday weekly memos that Yahoo CEO Carol Bartz sends out to the troops?

Very, very much since they are so full of significant news–a slowdown of Yahoo’s homepage redesign and a major limiting of the global rollout of its new advertising platform, APT, to name a few.

But they also have a weird but compelling kind of energy that nearly jumps off the page, giving clear insight into how Bartz thinks and operates.

Like the Energizer Bunny, I would say.

Here are two memos Bartz sent out to Yahoo (YHOO) staff, one from today and one from last week on Feb. 13, both of which discuss just how busy she is keeping herself.

This past week, for example, Bartz spent the weekend with advertisers and partners at the AT&T golf tournament in Pebble Beach, after which she threw some serious love in the direction of U.S. sales head Joanne Bradford and gave the advertising minions under her an A+.

Bartz also cheerily admits with a “whatever” that a “Brand Pride Memo,” which a Yahoo marketing exec asked her to rename in case it leaked–oops!–from last week (see below), was still a list of Yahoo embarrassments.

And she is headed to Europe in April, followed by Asia TBD, although this weekend, a husband-free Bartz is catching up on chick flicks–might I suggest, “He’s Just Not That Into You”–and resting up for the “big week” ahead.

That’s Bartz’s coy term for her massive reorganization of management, which is slated, many sources tell me, to be announced Wednesday. (See my post on that here.)

Last week, was much more newsworthy, as Bartz did a lot of business unit and product reviews–reportedly scaring the bejeesus out of staff who had to present–because, she said, they had not been done in a dog’s age at Yahoo.

Stressing a “need for speed” in the decision-making process at Yahoo and a “WOW” experience for users, Bartz seems to be whirling through Yahoo like Mr. Clean’s white tornado.

As BoomTown reported this week (correctly, Tapan!), for example, Metro–the Yahoo homepage redo–was delayed by her “until we feel it will be a great product for our users.”

Bartz then said she had decreed that ads were to be taken out of mail products in emerging markets, which will mean a drop in revenue (probably minuscule), but make for a better customer experience.

Most significantly, she also limited the global rollout of APT, Yahoo’s new advertising system, which was much touted by previous Yahoo management, to just the U.S. and one other country in order to “perfect” it.

This is a polite way of saying it is buggier than an Amazon jungle.

And, my favorite and hers: Bartz wrote that “we are assembling a list of products that we are embarrassed about for various reasons so we can make the important decision as to whether we fix them or discontinue them.”

Speaking of curdling, and to keep up the kooky quotient, Bartz also thanked Texas Yahoos for something called “Purple Cowboy wine,” as well as employees in Oshkosh, Wis., for cheese curds.

Then, it was off to make Valentines with her ubiquitous assistant, Judy Flores, after which she was set to do some major kissing up to ad customers at that golf tournament (not her strong suit, apparently, as it had been former Yahoo CEO and co-founder Jerry Yang’s).

But, experience the full-Carol yourself in the two entire memos below:

February 20:

My week started last Friday down at the AT&T golf tournament where we hosted many of our important U.S. customers and partners. I thought I’d use this week’s note to give you some impressions:

First, I really want to congratulate Joanne Bradford’s team for hosting and running a first-class event. I know many of you in the company have absolutely no idea what happens in our regions or what salespeople do for a living (in fact, my past history has shown me that the way most engineers perceive salespeople is as lightweight, backslapping meeters and greeters). In fact, I’m delighted to report that Yahoo! has an A+ sales team. I watched them in action with customers such as Pepsi–it was clear they had the respect and trust of the customer and represented all of us Yahoos very well. It was very interesting to learn how creative our salespeople are in helping our clients devise interesting and profitable campaigns. I received a lot of compliments about how well-supported these customers and partners felt. Likewise, it was very clear to me that they support Yahoo! in return and very much want us to succeed.

Hey, that doesn’t mean they think we’re perfect! They had several ideas about our products and how we could do better, especially in this tough economic environment. This plays right into our focus on excellence and great products.

Last week I told you we were going to have our first pass at deciding which products embarrass us as a company. Kudos to Allen Olivo and his team for worrying that one of you might leak my email, so instead he called it the “Brand Pride List.” Whatever, the point is still important and we had a great discussion on which products to stop and which to make a lot better. More to follow…

I realize this is a very U.S.-centric message but that’s because I spent three days with U.S. customers. Just wait until I blow through Europe in April–I’ll be sharing all sorts of European goodies with you! And yes, I am going to Asia as well–we just haven’t settled on the date yet.

My husband is out of town this weekend, so I’m looking forward to watching all the “chick flicks” that he refuses to watch with me. I hope you all have a fun weekend. Get well-rested, because next week’s a biggie. :)

Carol

February 13:

A great illustration of my need for speed.

Had a big staff meeting this week. We spent all day Monday and Tuesday reviewing our strategies and major products on both the audience and advertising sides. It was a great introduction for me and even an eye-opener for the entire team when they realized that many of these strategies and products hadn’t been delved into in a long time (a big thanks to all the presenters who worked so hard):

· We talked a lot about the importance of having a WOW experience for all of our users around the world. As an example, we are delaying the launch of Metro until we feel it will be a great product for our users.

· Similarly, we discovered that we are losing mail share to the competition in many slower-bandwidth, emerging markets so we have made a decision to remove mail ads in those countries to improve the user experience. This will mean a drop in revenue for us but it’s the right thing to do strategically.

· We have also decided to “perfect” APT! in the US and only one international market before we roll it out globally.

· And finally, my favorite–we are assembling a list of products that we are embarrassed about for various reasons so we can make the important decision as to whether we fix them or discontinue them.

What does this have to do with the need for speed? Many of the things I just talked about could have and should have been decided earlier but we haven’t been an organization that has embraced the need for speedy decisions, even when they are the tough ones. We can all be part of changing this and getting back to an organization that is fast on its feet.

On a personal note, thanks to Team Texas Sales for the Purple Cowboy wine and the Care Center Service Desk in Oshkosh for the Wisconsin bag of goodies–my favorite were the cheese curds!

Judy and I went to URLs today and made Valentine’s for our sweeties–everybody remember yours so we can all have a big Yahoo! Valentine’s Day. I’m off to Pebble Beach tomorrow to meet, entertain and play golf with some of our biggest customers. Actually, it’s a great strategy because normally you have to “let” the customer win–fortunately, this is not a problem for me!

Carol

Not BoomTown.

And it is not because newly crowned CBS Interactive CEO Quincy Smith (pictured here) is the ever-amusing Energizer Bunny of the Internet.

Okay, CBS (CBS) paid too much and that makes the whole thing suspect. But is it the wrong direction?

I have been noodling on the deal for a while now and have concluded that I like it.

Why? Primarily, because it is a big bet on big traffic from a high-quality Internet-born content and video site, which has been unnecessarily pilloried much as much, much smaller Web 2.0 competitors have been over-hyped.

With a hard re-haul–and there is no question CNET has to shake the Web 1.0 tone out of its system–and a true effort to find new advertising paradigm, the site could be just the kind of proof that content on the Web can really be powerful and more lucrative.

That’s because size still does matter. CNET is a midsize network of sites–smaller than Yahoo, but much bigger than most, with a range of sites, such as the popular GameSpot (see chart below).

Solving all of CBS’s problems is not the end game here, nor should it be, which has been the tone of a lot of the coverage of the deal. That’s been especially true as the media giant’s shares have swooned.

Struck in mid-May and closed at the end of June, the union has not inspired a lot of cheering by either Wall Street or the media, neither of whom like the 22-times EBITDA price (compared with CBS’s own seven).

Typical was The Wall Street Journal, which slappity-slapped the deal–comparing it with a lackluster CBS Web deal from a few years ago when the network bought CSTV for $325 million–and even managed to insult CEO Les Moonves’s ancient acting career at the same time:

“CBS Corp. Chief Executive Leslie Moonves had a bit role in ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ in 1977, but never made it as an actor. So maybe it’s time that Mr. Moonves stop acting like an Internet dealmaker.”

More recently, Lehman Bros. (LEH) Anthony J. DiClemente, in a longer report about CBS’s stock, noted that the deal’s impact was questionable.

He wrote: “In our view, it may take several quarters before we are able to discern if CBS’s purchase of CNET is able to help the online monetization effort for CBS and its TV content. We believe CBS will need to rejuvenate the CNET brands and ad sales effort in order to earn an adequate return on invested capital. CNET’s platform may open up a new collection of advertisers for CBS’s Internet ad sales team.”

Well, exactly. As always, the issue is going to be all about execution, making integration go smoothly and getting its ad sales team to actually begin to sell across all CBS online properties in new ways.

But what should be not lost here amid all the bellyaching about price and the depressed CBS brand and its even more depressing stock is that someone has to begin to build the next generation media model and create a critical mass of high-quality display inventory that also attracts a large and demographically attractive audience.

In other words, all the pieces are in place at CNET and CBS to do this. Whether the Energizer Bunny runs out of power before that can happen is another question altogether.

Please see this disclosure related to me and CBS.