QUOTED

… this $1 billion is magical fairy money that you can only see when it’s reflected in the shiny dew on the Blingo-tree leaves in the virgin wood of the elven kingdom of Willywindle, across the Chocolate River. And then only during the month of Februtuesrarey, which comes once in 1,000 years, when the snow falls from clear skies and the IRS agents give fabulous deductions for non-asset transactions conducted in previous fiscal quarters.”

—The Macalope deftly dispatches estimates that have “unlocked” iPhones costing Apple over $1 billion in lost revenue the next three years