Well, This Should Do Wonders for Dell Customer Service …

What would I do? I’d shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders.”

— Michael Dell explains what he’d do were he CEO of Apple (AAPL), circa 1997

Weakening economic conditions have forced Dell (DELL) to add a new benefit to its already tenuous employee salary packages: a week of unpaid leave. In an effort to “better position the company for long-term competitiveness,” the company is asking workers to consider taking five days off without pay–the theory being that five days off without pay is better than six months off on unemployment in a lousy economy.

“[Our goal] is to address costs in creative ways, in a way that gives our employees more choices than perhaps have existed in the past,” said spokesman David Frink. “We’re looking to use voluntary cost reduction options whenever possible so fewer involuntary actions would be necessary.”

A foreboding announcement from Dell, which has already reduced headcount by about 10 percent (8,900 employees) this year. ’Course, if this initiative doesn’t work out, CEO Michael Dell could always shut down the company and return the money to the shareholders. …