Kara Swisher

Recent Posts by Kara Swisher

Neverland: No Twapple — And No Twoogle or FaceTwit, Either — For Now (But Happy Thoughts!)

The constantly churning tech news cycle officially ate itself alive today over the thin strand of the possibility that Twitter was getting a big chunk of change from Apple.

That was according to the New York Times, which said the socially-stumbly Apple “has talked with Twitter in recent months about making a strategic investment in it.”

Holy googa mooga went the blogosphere over the possibility of Twapple — credit to @evegelman for that fab mashup — in which Apple would apparently value Twitter at $10 billion.

That’s especially so, as it came after what has been a terrible week for tech stocks. That has included Apple, the patron saint of all that is shiny in Silicon Valley, after disappointing earnings.

But the jolt was soon over, after a tetchy oh-no-you-didn’t report in The Wall Street Journal made the salient point that such talks took place over a year ago.

“People familiar with the matter said there are no current formal investment or acquisition discussions between the companies,” the article said.

This is correct, according to our people who are also familiar with the matter (and who are probably the exact same peeps).

Big sigh, because I guess it’s back to contemplating the weirdness of the opening ceremony of the Olympics, and what it exactly meant that Lord Voldemort and a team of Mary Poppins did battle in the air, as children on beds cowered in horror.

Or maybe it’s time to return the nice warm cocoon of Silicon Valley speculation on multibillion deals that might or might not happen, but will leave everyone rich if we only believe in faith and trust and just a little pixie dust.

Wait, that’s Peter Pan’s line — which was also jammed into that strange Olympic show, which took place in London, as did the fab children’s story.

In any case, minus the fairytale, let me give you the actual scorecard, based on our reporting:

Apple and Twitter did do some courting, but it was a while back, so the Journal was right.

Twitter don’t need the dough — it has a big amount of money in its kitty, so the Times was right.

Twitter will probably try to go public at some point — and good luck with that! — as both the Times and the Journal noted, but everyone already knew that one.

Actually, this is all kind of old news, but it did liven up our weekend, so both media outlets and others were right to chew all over it until it was like cud.

And, I will throw one in: Google’s also not making any bid, although they once did contemplate it; same for Facebook, but their acquisition effort of Twitter was a dog’s age ago, and in a much better time for it.

Okey dokey pokey, happy thoughts and back to a lazy Sunday tomorrow, but please enjoy this video about flying from “Peter Pan”:

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Just as the atom bomb was the weapon that was supposed to render war obsolete, the Internet seems like capitalism’s ultimate feat of self-destructive genius, an economic doomsday device rendering it impossible for anyone to ever make a profit off anything again. It’s especially hopeless for those whose work is easily digitized and accessed free of charge.

— Author Tim Kreider on not getting paid for one’s work